Isn't life grand.

Ok so last night I had a two hour meeting at the church. Because the meeting started at 5:00, I left the house around 4:30. And because this was too early to eat dinner, I decided to wait. Someone else in the church (not in the meeting) did not have to wait, so for two hours I got to smell the delicious aroma of their dinner coming from the kitchen. This made me very hungry. When I got home, I greeted Doug with, “I’m hungry, what did you have for dinner?”(not very nice, huh?) Well, never mind that, because Doug being the super-duper guy that he is, just smiled and pulled a brown paper Po-Boy’s BBQ bag from the fridge. Yay!! Po-Boy’s only has the best BBQ EVER! It’s this scary little diner on Meridian that has all of its original 1970’s fixtures and (I'm sure) some of its original dirt. I, personally, would have never, ever gone in that place. (something about old, rundown places… I avoid) But, Doug, who doesn’t have obsessions like I do, was pulled off the streets one day by its aroma. He liked it so much, he brought me home a sandwich and we’ve been addicted ever since.

So, after I ate my sandwich last night, without too many bites or too many breaths (I paid for that later) I settled in on the couch with my blanket. Ahhhh. While Doug was busy conquering the world via his computer game, I had sole possession of the remote control. I flipped through the channels to my hearts content. At first my mind kept saying, “You ought to do your homework.” Then my mind would say, “No, this is fun, do this.” So, I did that. I spent the rest of the night flipping between the food channel (I have a fascination with the Iron Chef….both American and Japanese….I don’t know why…..the food they fix is not really edible is it?....but anyway) and a figure skating competition. And so, I said, "What more could you want?" Being warm, full and entertained, I marveled, "Isn't life grand!"

My passion fruit.

While Doug and I were out shopping last night, we were in the produce department when I discovered this ugly little fruit. I had probably seen them before but because of their unappealing exterior I most likely walked on by. For some reason last night, though I was feeling a little risky and said, "Hey, I wonder what this strange little fruit is all about?" Doug wasn't interested at all.....until I told him it was a passion fruit. Then he decided, "Sure, we can get one of those." Neither of us looked at the price and were a little astonished when we got to the register with it. $3.00! It cost three whole dollars! Wow! I had no idea it could cost that much. I've bought whole melons for less than that! Well, we bought it anyway and today I decided to try it. I was in for another surprise when I cut the thing open. "What is that?" I wondered as I gazed at the oozing innards. Doug thought it looked rotten. It didn't smell bad, it was just gooey and strange on the inside.

Since Ashly used to work in the Safeway produce department, I called her up to see what she knew about passion fruit. She said their Safeway was much too small and unsophisticated to carry passion fruit. She suggested I ask the store where I bought it. I looked online instead. And yes, that's what a passion fruit should look like on the inside and well, all those seeds are edible. Most people, they say, just sieve them and use the juice. In Hawaii they eat them with bananas. And in Doug and Joye's house, they will skip eating passion fruit. They will eat apples, and oranges and melons, instead.

A fish tale...

Ok, it's less of a tale and more of an epiphany (I think you can call it that). Did you realize (I'm sure most of you did, but it has just occurred to me) that these fish are called "smelt". Now, please, I wonder how they came up with that name! Hmmm.....I personally believe that when they were sitting around saying, "Man, that thing smelt!" ... they should have been more specific and said "Man, that thing smelt bad!" And don't you think all fish could qualify as 'smelt'. I do.

(Ok, I'm betting this post is an epiphany to some of you who have just realized that I am completely weird. )

I know it's wrong.......

But I have an unhealthy desire to hurt Tom Cruise. He wants Katie Holmes to push that baby out of her body without screaming, talking, crying or medication; I can't help but hope he gets to experience passing something really, really painful out of his......(I know...... it's wrong)

On a lighter note, did you realize that airline ticketing agents ask: "Has anyone put anything into your bags without your knowledge?" hmmmm...How exactly are you supposed to answer that?......."I don't know, maybe we should look?"

First fruits (or are these vegetables?)

These are the first pumpkins from my "surprise-you-accidently-grew-a-pumpkin-patch" garden......I think I should have fertilized.

It's Alive!

Or, rather He's alive. Yes, Billy survived the second surgery but he came out looking like something Dr. Frankenstein assembled. I decided not to include a photo because quite frankly.... he's gross. Sarah, won't even look at him. She talks to him with her back turned which is kind of confusing to him...but, at least his still alive.

That's something to blog about.

Ok this is how bad my “blogger-logged” brain has become. Last night when Doug and I were taking out the trash together there was a small slug on the sidewalk. When Doug’s foot was just hovering over it I said, “Be careful, don’t step on that blog.” It’s true. Of course we both laughed about it but then I thought, “Hey, slugs are something to blog about. After all, if you haven’t been to the Great Northwest, have you really experienced a slug?”

So this is my blog about slugs. The first time Doug and I saw a slug here we thought it was something the dog did. I’m not kidding, but then it moved….and we were like, “Hey, that thing’s alive!” Seriously, the slugs here are HUGE, like four inches long.








So is there anything worse than stepping on a slug….barefoot?........Yes! Squishing (or rather, popping) one in the garage door and having guts fly into your face and hair.................much worse. Doug had a similar “up close and personal” experience when he chopped one up with the weed-eater. Pretty gross.

When we first moved here, though, I was pretty much at peace with the slugs, they just didn’t bother me. Then, I bought some flowers....and then my flowers started to disappear. Of, course, slugs, being stupid little creatures, they leave trails of evidence every where they go...and so the war was on.

Someone told me beer was the solution. I was told to pour it in a saucer; the slugs would come along, try to drink the beer, fall in and die, right? Wrong. My slugs just came along, drank the beer, ate my flowers and were grateful for the party.

Doug devised his own plan to get rid of them. He had a little "chamber of death" on the front porch. He just picked up slugs, threw them into an empty coffee can, put the lid on and left them there to die. They all melded into one big slug and that was way too gross for me.

After losing one too many plants, I decided to buy some slug bait. Poison, I say, Poison. It’s disguised as tasty little morsels and slugs love it. When niece Allie was here she became the "Great Northwest Slug Hunter". She tracked them down all over the yard and hand fed them slug bait. It was great fun. Now, I do that, too. With box in hand, I go out saying, “It’s time to feed my slugs!” Heh heh heh…..

Billy's Harrowing Tale

I don’t usually write long, sappy stories but this one I had to tell. You see, I had completely forgotten how much I love my little dog Billy until a few days ago. For probably ten years my family accused me of loving the dog more than them and well, I guess it appeared that way. But over the last couple of years, like my friend Ruth and her dog, me and Billy had grown apart. With all of his increasing needs and little accidents in the house, I was getting rather tired of him. He had also been producing an odor that made him believe his new name was “Billy You Stink”. I really believed it was time for Billy to pass on. But the other day changed my mind. It was about mid-day and Mom let him out in the back yard to “do his business”. She didn’t know the gate was open but Billy knew it and he decided to take himself for a walk. What happened when he was walking himself we will never know, but it was something bad. When he came home a few hours later I knew he was acting strange but I did not know exactly why. When I finally checked him over thoroughly for wounds, I found a three inch long gash in his side along with other small wounds. I cried. It was then that I realized I was a long way off from wanting Billy to leave my side. When I took him to the vet, she was concerned with his wounds but she was even more concerned with his teeth. It turned out that his teeth were in such bad condition, she had to pull many of them. Poor Billy, he went in with one wound and came out with no teeth. Now he has a big, bald spot on his side, seven stitches, bald spots on his front legs, and snaggled teeth. But all in all, he came out smelling a whole lot better and regaining a lot of love. Awwwww……

I'm completely addicted.

Ok, I admit it, I am completely addicted to reading blogs. (no thanks to that little "next blog" button at the top of the page). I keep finding myself sucked into this perpetual cycle of "next blog" read a little, "next blog" read a little ,"next blog" and on and on. It's crazy! I have found some great pages, though. I'm also completely jealous of some of the really "cool" sites. There are tools out there that I don't have! Someday, I'll link some of those sites, if I can stop reading long enough to figure out how to add links!!

It Bears Repeating.

Because this was the funniest/craziest thing I had heard all year...... (except when the mail lady thought Doug said his name was Stud)...... I decided to repost it in this new blog. Above you will see part of the instructions for my new "Vidal Sasoon Professional 1875" model blowdryer. If you'll note: #7 says to never use while sleeping. While this is understandable, my original dilemma was that I wasn't sure how I would know that I was using my blowdryer when I was asleep. That made it hard to comply with instruction #7. My new thoughts are....."How much trouble do you think I would be in if I did break rule #7? You see, if I could blow dry my hair while I was asleep, do you know that would knock off a whole 20 mins. of getting ready time AND I could add that to my sleep time.....now that would be worth it. Hmmm.....I just wonder...."

Some things I learned as a kid.

I learned that.....

Dry dog food tastes great but adults flip out if they catch you eating it.

Cats do not like to be thrown up in the air and if you happen to catch one as its coming down, you'll be sorry.

Batman slippers do not protect your feet from rusty nails and tetanus shots hurt.

You should never trust your brother when he says, "You go first" after he suggested you both jump off the water tank.

When you jump off a really high structure, like a water tank, it hurts your ankles really bad if you don't know how to land right.

You should never run into a room crying "I lost my marbles" even if it is true.